August 26, 2006

Day o' Croquet

I ended up winning the GCHTJKCAIPCT today. The prize money was not what I expected. There were only four of us on the field of war today, but in some ways smaller numbers are actually better for such a lengthy game. We had the obligatory cookout after, which was superb - perhaps the best in years, and stuffed ourselves with burgers, corn, soup, and a top flight fruit salad hand made by my mother. If I may say, the mango right now is unbelievable. I thank you, Joe, Mei, and Dana, for coming and joining in the festivities. All in all, I think we had a pretty enjoyable time...

... but I still can't shake the feeling that I am losing another group of friends to distance, time, and other priorities. I've had this feeling before, as I was in the process of losing my first group in the first years of my illness, then the second about midway through. I made it both times with varying degrees of success, only this time I don't have college classes to find new people, office-mates to associate with, or even a church of people mostly 20 and 30 years older than me. This time I fear I may be very much on my own, saddled with essentially a more advanced version of the same health condition that was responsible for losing me the first two groups of friends. The bottom line is that people just cannot connect with someone who is sick, I guess.

I'm not one to give up of course. I've never given up before. I don't plan to start now, or ever for that matter, no matter how bad things might theoretically get in the future. I think I just need a lot of help now. Please say a prayer for me that I might be shown new ways of holding onto people I care about, and new ways of finding people in a world that most often does not extend beyond the walls of this house. I think prayer is about the best option I have, and the dual meaning is quite intentional.

Posted by Andy at August 26, 2006 10:17 PM to the General category

I'm sorry I couldn't make it. :^(

Posted by: Joe Lex at August 27, 2006 12:36 AM

My congrats on winning. I haven't played croquet in years. I kinda miss it.

I completely understand what you mean by people not wanting to connect with someone who is sick. It's kinda hard to meet new people and old friends can grow apart. For a good friendship to work, both parties have to work for it and sometimes it gets too much. Especially when you are sick and the other party sometimes has to push a lil harder. Sometimes, I think it is an "outta sight, outta mind" scenario, where since you aren't around as much, people tend to forget to invite you, call you, etc. Anyhow, I just wanted to say I understand :)

Posted by: Amanda at August 27, 2006 01:18 AM

Yes, you're right that the other party must push harder, but I guess I feel like I'm working so hard already that, if in fact there is anything unequal, it is in the other direction. The problem is that most of the time, my effort is invisible to most people.

... but then there are things that I can't do at all as you suggest. I have a bunch of friends who either just moved or are moving within a month or so, and if I even show up, I'd be making things harder for everyone else.

Posted by: Andy at August 27, 2006 03:21 PM

I'm sorry I couldn't make it too. I really appreciated the invite. :) Congrats on winning. I was thinking of you.

Posted by: Anna Venger at August 27, 2006 06:49 PM

Hehe, you guys probably don't know what winning entails in "power" croquet. The game is a bit different than the regular version due to the massive course size, obstacles, and cutthroat rules. While I suppose there is some skill involved in winning, there is also a huge luck factor involved.

This day I was able to make it through the half-way point wickets just before all four of us arrived at the same place to start beating on each other. That meant that I was able to continue through the course in peace while everyone else was busy knocking other player's croquet balls all over the place. One good (or probably lucky) shot can make all the difference.

Anna, I'll try to get you for something else. We have canoes, for instance. I hope you had fun at your shower.

Amanda, move closer and I'll invite you too! I think I have to make a cut-off and only invite guests on the east coast, though. :)

Posted by: Andy at August 27, 2006 09:33 PM

yeah, i did. thanks for asking.

Posted by: Anna Venger at August 28, 2006 07:18 PM
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